The Mick & Pat Show - Coldline: Racing Against Nuclear Disaster

Transcript

WEBVTT

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Welcome to a first ever Make and Pass show Shindig thing.

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Here we're going to be playing a game and we're screen recording.

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It's a game that I enjoy a lot.

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I've played it with a couple friends.

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It's called Coldline and it is a game that you can download on the internets by doing a little donation and it's a fun game to just play over with people's first-time experiences.

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But I don't want to spoil too much of it because it's also Pat's first time playing and I think the less I say, the more fun it will be Pat.

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So we're going to be playing characters.

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Pat is going to be Chairman Zarkov, since he's the main person playing the game, and I'm just his aide Comrade Pavel, I see.

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And Pat is going to start the game because once the game starts there's no stopping it.

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It just launches on the computer and just goes and once that launches he'll be reading for those of you listening off of what he sees online, but the game is an audio game, so you'll be interacting with a phone and pressing options.

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It'll be reading back to you stuff.

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So it's a very.

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It's a really good game for, like, just people who are listening, if they're not actually watching the gameplay on YouTube or something like that, where we upload the video.

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So all that said.

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Pat you ready, Almost ready.

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Point on when I'm playing this game, am I clicking the phone screen or do I have to use my keypad?

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You can use your keypad or you can click.

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Okay, clicking is good, because we're playing on this.

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Mac emulator.

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We don't have all the buttons that it gave us for the controls, but here we go.

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Good, good, all right, I think it's loading, but I don't know, we'll drag.

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Oh, it's happening.

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This game uses the number pad.

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Got to use the pound key.

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Delete for pound key if you don't have any Number pad.

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Uses a number of keys on top and space for pound.

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All right, the year is 1962.

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The height of the Cold War.

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You are the chairman of the USSR.

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Due to a technical failure, a 50 megaton nuclear warhead is on its way to New York City.

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Oh no, this is not good.

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All right, we've got a map of the world.

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Thanks to Breakthrough in the Soviet Aviation.

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Your military advisor estimates a delivery in 10 minutes.

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A timer has hit the screen.

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We've got 10 minutes.

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All right, do you see a phone?

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I've got the red phone.

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Your last hope at preventing Armageddon is to get the US Army to intercept the plane.

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Time to call the president.

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Hi, hi, you have reached the united states washington moscow hotline.

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Thank you for your call.

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Are you calling about an urgent matter and would you like?

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A direct line with the president, operator, press one if your matter is less urgent and you would like to.

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We pressed.

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1.

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You pressed 1?

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.

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Yes, in order for us to connect you to the president, we will need a verification code.

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Oh no, they need a code, please enter your 6-digit identification code and close with pound.

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Commander Chairman Zarkov, do you have your 6-digit code?

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Yes, 69, 69.

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In order for us to connect you to the president we 69, 69.

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420.

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That's eight digits, I know 696942 Pound.

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Oh God.

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Am I supposed to be thinking?

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Is there a?

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Jeremy, maybe there's another option you need to pick.

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I went with the old 1111 pound, jeremy.

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All right, I'm going for the luggage on an asshole's luggage.

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If you would like to return to the main menu, press 2.

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I'm going to number 2.

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Back to main menu.

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Yes, good to move.

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We're at 8 minutes 30 seconds, number two.

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Hi, Back to the main menu.

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Good to move.

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United States Washington Moscow hotline.

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Thank you for your call.

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We're at eight minutes 30 seconds Are you calling about an urgent matter and would you like a direct line with the president Press one.

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I've got to listen to more of this menu, if your matter is less urgent and you would like to speak to a representative press two.

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No, it's very urgent For other matters matters, press three if you're calling about renewing trade accords with the white house press one we should do that, though we should call later about trade accords press two.

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If you're calling about applying for a washington moscow hotline verification code or getting a reminder for your verification code, press three oh, you should do that.

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I'm selecting three.

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All right, to apply for was gotta write this thing down.

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Verification code oh, I clicked to apply.

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I should have clicked to be reminded a new verification code.

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We need to know if you are a low ranking or high ranking official no, you are high ranking, you are low.

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Gentlemen.

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Zarkov, you're a leader of ussr press two what is your?

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If you are head of defense, press 1.

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No.

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If you are head of international relations press 2.

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If you are president, king or chairman of your nation, press 3.

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You are a chairman?

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Yes, we're going 3.

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We're down to 7 minutes and 15 seconds In order to grant you a Washington Moscow hotline verification code.

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we need to confirm you are not a robot.

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Please type the following code 1, oh my gosh Shit, all the robots these days 1462 pound 445.

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783.

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To get a reminder of your code.

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Use your reminder key, which is 1-3-3.

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To return to the main menu, press 0.

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What was it?

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Did you get 1-3-3?

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I got that, yes, okay.

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Get the reminder.

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I think I got code.

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I think I got code right.

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Six digits.

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We got to talk to the president number one in order for us to connect you to the president we will need a verification code I think verification code is four

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digit identification code, and four, five, seven, eight, three in order pound.

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Was that seven numbers?

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No, that was six.

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Oh, it is work.

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It is work.

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Chairman Linkoff.

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Oh, you're Linkoff not Zarkov.

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Oh shit, they put us on hold.

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We got five minutes and 60 seconds.

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The missile is already over Greenland.

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Is it Greenland Iceland?

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UK.

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Yeah, it's passing over Spain, headed for New York City.

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They could have picked better on hold music.

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Unfortunately, the president is out of office at this time.

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Would you like to book an appointment?

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No.

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Press 1.

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Is there an emergency that cannot wait?

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Yes, Press 2.

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Commander Linkov yes.

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Understood.

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We are dedicated to helping you out with your emergency.

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Can you tell us more about what type of emergency you're experiencing?

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Chairman Linkov you have to focus Press 1.

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I mean, yes, we are USSR it is economic.

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Yes, but not real war, it's accident.

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To help us understand the problem.

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Can you tell us if your emergency endangers US soil or not?

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It does.

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If yes, press 1.

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I feel like I should be listening to the menu longer, but Nuclear emergencies that threaten US territory is a very important issue.

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I'm sure it is Is it possible that you may have accidentally targeted the United States and need help with intercepting a missile.

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Yes, Chairman Lincoln, that's what that is.

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Press 1.

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We got 4 minutes and 30 seconds.

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Chairman Linkov focus.

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Did you order a special interception military mission from this menu?

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In order to do so, we need the military special permission code that aligns with the type of ballistic missile Shit.

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We don't have that code.

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Press one, if not press two, to return to the main menu.

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Oh shit, oh fuck.

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If not, press 2 to return to the main menu.

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Oh shit, oh fuck.

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You have reached the United States-Washington-Moscow hotline.

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Thank you for your call, I think we're screwed.

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Are you calling about an urgent matter and would you like a?

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direct line with the president.

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I don't know what he said.

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Number 3.

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Number 3 was the other matter.

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If your matter is less urgent and you would like to you got Gotta go back to get another code.

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Come on Lake don't focus.

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You are leader of USSR.

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We should have been writing down the whole call tree line of numbers.

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If, you're calling about applying for a Washington Moscow hotline verification code or getting a reminder for your verification code, press 3.

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I think 2.

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2.

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Not economic Two.

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Oh my gosh, oh my gosh, we're in a rabbit hole.

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That one, that one, that's the one we want.

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Alright, we're going two.

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That one, that one, that's the one we want, all right.

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We're going to Defense, made that defense.

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Made defense.

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Yes, oh God, come on.

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How much time do we have left?

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Three minutes Yep that are designed specifically to take down a moving ballistic missile.

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Yep, did you know you can order emergency military operations, such as the interception of an accidental nuclear missile, from this menu.

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To do so you need to have a military special permission code that consists of two numbers, based on speed of the missile, and two Numbers.

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She's based on the best interception method.

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To know more about speed, press 1.

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We need that one too.

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A double hit.

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1.

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If your ballistic missile is slow moving press 1.

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No, it's not 2, fast.

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Fast moving ballistic missiles have a military special permission code that starts with 4, 0.

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4 to 0.

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To learn more about interception methods press 1.

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That one.

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If your ballistic missile is sent from the northern hemisphere, it requires an X-Form interception method.

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For more about this method, press 1.

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One minute 50 seconds.

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Jesus the X-Form ballistic interception methods have a military special permission code that ends with the digits 8-1.

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8-1.

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Alright, go back to the main menu.

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Press 1.

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To return to the menu, press 2.

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1.

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President Jeremy Lankoff called president the.

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United States, Washington, Moscow.

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Alright.

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In order for us to connect you to the president, we will need a verification code 4457-83-POUND.

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Pound.

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How much time left 115.

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Oh my gosh.

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We will now redirect you to the president.

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Please wait, don't God.

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This is.

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This is dabbling.

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Don't go to be the end of the first world.

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I don't know if we got the full code.

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We never got what stuff starts with no.

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We got 4L Special permission code.

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Yeah, Starts with 4L.

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Okay.

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And then what's the other one?

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X form, interception 8-1.

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Okay, okay, here we go 50 seconds Shit, shit, shit, no, no.

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Two, yes oh shit Mm.

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Need a cigarette?

00:12:17.817 --> 00:12:18.518
Yeah, it's nuclear.

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Is it two or three?

00:12:25.052 --> 00:12:28.158
I think it's two emergency economic press.

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One is the nature of your emergency related to nuclear yes war, and we take your call very seriously.

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Oh my god 13 seconds.

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Understand the problem.

00:12:49.462 --> 00:12:50.284
Can you tell us if your emergency?

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endangers us soil or not one.

00:12:52.089 --> 00:12:58.253
Yes, that's safe we didn't do it.

00:12:58.253 --> 00:13:01.000
New york city has fallen.

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Your phone menu navigation was too slow to save the world.

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Press 1 to play again or 2 to quit.

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Man, were you stressed, were you sweating.

00:13:16.129 --> 00:13:18.158
Yeah, it was frustrating, those damn things.

00:13:18.158 --> 00:13:22.019
It's like you didn't have to call the bank Sitting listening to that robot.

00:13:22.019 --> 00:13:26.219
All right, do we play through one more time, knowing the codes?

00:13:26.219 --> 00:13:27.354
Have you ever reached the end?

00:13:27.354 --> 00:13:28.216
Yes, I have.

00:13:28.216 --> 00:13:31.034
All right, how many playthroughs did you take?

00:13:31.034 --> 00:13:32.559
A couple, two, two.

00:13:32.870 --> 00:13:34.277
I think it's always taking people two.

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Is it worth getting to the end, or is it just?

00:13:36.850 --> 00:13:38.033
Don't you want to save the country?

00:13:40.480 --> 00:13:41.544
All right, here we go again.

00:13:48.716 --> 00:13:49.480
I light cigarette.

00:13:49.480 --> 00:13:52.263
This time I smoke for this one.

00:13:52.263 --> 00:13:55.841
You know how you should end the last one.

00:13:55.841 --> 00:13:59.865
Maybe you should just end it without even like the audio.

00:13:59.865 --> 00:14:03.083
You should just have it end in nuclear bomb sound.

00:14:06.375 --> 00:14:08.158
It just we cut off like know just some static.

00:14:08.158 --> 00:14:16.895
All right, we're back in 1962 and the megaton warhead is on its way to new york city.

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How fast we're gonna beat it this time, we'll see I will say last time I play this, yes, second time my friend try.

00:14:24.648 --> 00:14:30.100
He beat with only five tenths of a second left.

00:14:30.100 --> 00:14:34.386
No, okay, uh, it was half of a second left.

00:14:34.386 --> 00:14:36.549
Wow, yeah, it was pretty crazy.

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All right, here we go, because I don't know if it's random or not for a number generation, right, the codes.

00:14:42.375 --> 00:14:43.682
We could be screwed on the codes.

00:14:43.682 --> 00:14:48.063
I'm going to try to go straight through it first, to put in the codes.

00:14:48.063 --> 00:14:49.126
Here we go.

00:14:49.274 --> 00:14:50.398
You think we just try codes?

00:14:50.398 --> 00:14:51.559
Yeah, same codes.

00:14:52.162 --> 00:14:52.763
I think we do.

00:14:52.763 --> 00:14:54.628
I don't know.

00:14:55.254 --> 00:14:56.756
But wouldn't we have the same codes?

00:14:56.756 --> 00:15:02.866
If we don't have it, I guess we do now Because you know you would have your code.

00:15:02.866 --> 00:15:03.828
Yeah, I don't know.

00:15:06.219 --> 00:15:07.203
I'm going to try.

00:15:09.605 --> 00:15:10.552
I'll talk to the president.

00:15:10.552 --> 00:15:10.774
Let's go.

00:15:10.774 --> 00:15:13.525
In order for us to connect you to the president, we will need a verification code.

00:15:15.534 --> 00:15:16.577
What's the one we had?

00:15:16.618 --> 00:15:17.941
We're about to find out.

00:15:17.941 --> 00:15:24.702
Four, four, five, seven Eight, three Pound Let.

00:15:24.722 --> 00:15:25.547
Five Seven Eight Three.

00:15:28.028 --> 00:15:28.211
Pound.

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Let's see what's gonna happen.

00:15:33.538 --> 00:15:36.081
Let's go, Chairman Linkoff, comrade.

00:15:39.996 --> 00:15:42.283
My goodness, here we go.

00:15:42.283 --> 00:15:48.384
It'd be really dirty of them if they just changed the next codes.

00:15:48.384 --> 00:15:50.600
That'd be clean.

00:15:50.980 --> 00:15:51.943
That'd be very nice.

00:15:55.897 --> 00:15:56.639
All right, we're on hold.

00:15:56.639 --> 00:16:00.375
We got eight minutes and 50 seconds, we're coming in.

00:16:00.375 --> 00:16:00.756
Of course he is.

00:16:00.756 --> 00:16:01.138
He probably golfed?

00:16:01.138 --> 00:16:01.941
Nope, not at all, we're coming in.

00:16:01.980 --> 00:16:04.849
Unfortunately, the president is out of office At this time.

00:16:04.849 --> 00:16:06.561
Would you like to book?

00:16:06.620 --> 00:16:08.902
an appointment Press 1.

00:16:09.957 --> 00:16:11.784
Is there an emergency that cannot wait?

00:16:13.201 --> 00:16:13.402
2.

00:16:13.402 --> 00:16:19.114
Here we go, gotta save the world as we know it, we are dedicated to helping you out with your emergency.

00:16:20.321 --> 00:16:23.195
Can you tell us more about what type of emergency You're experiencing?

00:16:23.195 --> 00:16:28.142
Is the nature of your emergency economic press one?

00:16:28.142 --> 00:16:31.970
Is the nature of your emergency related to nuclear war?

00:16:31.970 --> 00:16:35.457
Still, here we go.

00:16:35.457 --> 00:16:47.804
We are very concerned to hear you are experiencing an emergency regarding nuclear war you should be very concerned very seriously to help us understand the problem somebody get on this phone emergency endangers us soil or not?

00:16:48.826 --> 00:16:52.256
if yes, press all right, we're moving through it.

00:16:52.376 --> 00:16:57.187
We're moving through the nuclear emergency territory is a very important issue.

00:16:57.187 --> 00:17:03.628
Is it possible that you may have accidentally targeted the United States and need help with intercepting a missile?

00:17:04.128 --> 00:17:04.348
Yes.

00:17:04.655 --> 00:17:05.885
If yes, press 1.

00:17:06.288 --> 00:17:06.974
Alright there we go.

00:17:06.974 --> 00:17:07.981
We make no accident.

00:17:07.981 --> 00:17:09.674
We just didn't know it was going to happen.

00:17:09.674 --> 00:17:09.955
Did you know?

00:17:09.976 --> 00:17:13.026
you can order a special interception military mission from this menu.

00:17:13.026 --> 00:17:18.905
In order to do so, we need the military special permission code that aligns with the type of ballistic missile.

00:17:18.945 --> 00:17:19.928
Oh, I don't have that menu.

00:17:20.095 --> 00:17:21.939
If you have a code ready, press 1.

00:17:21.939 --> 00:17:23.983
Oh, I don't have that menu.

00:17:23.983 --> 00:17:24.525
If you have a code, ready.

00:17:24.545 --> 00:17:24.746
Press 1.

00:17:24.746 --> 00:17:26.169
If not, press 2 to return.

00:17:26.169 --> 00:17:28.133
Yes, we do yes.

00:17:28.133 --> 00:17:28.835
Okay, special permission code.

00:17:28.835 --> 00:17:31.932
Please enter the four-digit military special permission code to engage an intersection mission.

00:17:31.951 --> 00:17:32.434
All right, Pablo, what is?

00:17:32.454 --> 00:17:36.544
it Then close with the pound key 4-0-8-1.

00:17:36.544 --> 00:17:43.666
The code you entered is for intercepting a fast-moving missile with an X-form interception method.

00:17:43.666 --> 00:17:46.119
Are you sure you want to continue?

00:17:46.119 --> 00:17:47.723
Yes, press 1.

00:17:48.346 --> 00:17:48.886
Here we go.

00:17:51.217 --> 00:17:52.461
Are you absolutely sure?

00:17:53.516 --> 00:17:56.146
Remember this action can only be performed once.

00:17:56.146 --> 00:17:57.311
Wait, hold on, let's think about this.

00:17:57.311 --> 00:17:58.196
How much time do we have Press 1?

00:17:58.196 --> 00:17:59.394
If you are absolutely sure, six minutes.

00:18:00.214 --> 00:18:07.306
Press 2 if you'd like to return to the main menu it's not the worst thing if you is annihilated.

00:18:10.618 --> 00:18:12.001
I feel like this phone is like Regis Philbin.

00:18:12.001 --> 00:18:12.383
Are you sure?

00:18:12.383 --> 00:18:13.265
Are you absolutely sure?

00:18:13.265 --> 00:18:15.115
I'm going one, I'm going one.

00:18:15.115 --> 00:18:16.378
I do love who wants to be a millionaire.

00:18:16.378 --> 00:18:17.300
Here we go.

00:18:20.247 --> 00:18:20.769
Understood.

00:18:20.769 --> 00:18:24.184
We will send out a special military interception operation right away.

00:18:24.184 --> 00:18:26.660
Thank you for your cooperation.

00:18:29.207 --> 00:18:32.142
Oh, there we go Time on the clock.

00:18:32.142 --> 00:18:33.799
You want to go grab beer?

00:18:34.115 --> 00:18:35.179
Six and a half left.

00:18:35.179 --> 00:18:35.982
You want vodka?

00:18:35.982 --> 00:18:38.884
I didn't even finish my cigarette, me either.

00:18:38.884 --> 00:18:42.134
Oh, my goodness.

00:18:42.174 --> 00:18:43.441
Okay, so don't change numbers.

00:18:45.835 --> 00:18:48.599
I couldn't remember the numbers from last time I play the.

00:18:48.599 --> 00:18:49.601
Uh.

00:18:49.601 --> 00:18:54.329
All right, that is maddening of a little puzzle game when it sends you back.

00:18:54.329 --> 00:18:56.461
Isn't that fun though it is fun.

00:18:56.480 --> 00:18:57.784
Uh, cold line everyone.

00:18:57.784 --> 00:18:59.256
If you want to download, you can just google it.

00:18:59.256 --> 00:19:05.627
It's um on uh, itchio, which is like where a bunch of games are hosted for um.

00:19:05.627 --> 00:19:07.618
A lot of them are free.

00:19:07.618 --> 00:19:11.047
You just get to name your own price and you can name zero if you want.

00:19:11.047 --> 00:19:13.962
But if you want to support the creators, give them a little bit.

00:19:13.962 --> 00:19:17.780
I think I gave like three bucks um, and I've had a lot of fun playing it with friends.

00:19:17.780 --> 00:19:23.825
Uh, I'm trying to see who the author is here, but I don't see the author displayed on the page.

00:19:23.825 --> 00:19:26.621
Oh, adam Pipe.

00:19:26.621 --> 00:19:30.625
Adam Pipe was the creator of the game and Victor Krause did the sound.

00:19:30.625 --> 00:19:35.203
So go check him out, throw him a little bucks and download the game.

00:19:35.203 --> 00:19:40.700
Do it after you've forgotten, though Don't do it right after listening to this, or you could do it to a friend.

00:19:41.020 --> 00:19:41.362
Yeah, do it.

00:19:41.362 --> 00:19:42.940
It is most fun with friends.

00:19:42.940 --> 00:19:57.786
I actually want to play it where I just pull up on a laptop with a bunch of people around the table in my basement and we're all like counselors to the president, because I think that'll add a lot of stress to the situation if everyone's talking over Mm-hmm.

00:19:57.786 --> 00:19:59.840
But, that was fun.

00:20:00.595 --> 00:20:01.016
That was fun.

00:20:01.016 --> 00:20:01.917
My hands are a little sweaty.

00:20:02.178 --> 00:20:03.300
Yeah, we should.

00:20:03.300 --> 00:20:04.623
We should do more of these, cause that was fun.

00:20:04.623 --> 00:20:09.442
If you like these, you know, let us know and we'll do another one.

00:20:09.442 --> 00:20:18.426
But yeah, I think that's kind of all we had planned for this one, just trying out the game format and I think until next time.

The Mick & Pat Show - Coldline: Racing Against Nuclear Disaster

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